I've talked about Domestic Violence before. I am a victim of it myself. NO, I am a SURVIVOR of it! So, why am I talking about it today? A few reasons, you can never talk about it enough. This is not, nor should ever be a hush hush topic. This is a real epidemic in our country and all over the world. I am currently surviving my hell. I am grateful to my friends and family, the police and the courts for keeping me protected. I know now that I have nothing to feel ashamed about. I didn't cause my abuser's issues. That's all I will say about that. Why am I so outspoken about this? I am vocal about my experience in hopes that my story will save lives!
Recent events bring me to the following: I belong to several business groups. Last week a friend/member of one of the group's reached out to us. He had just found out that a family friend was beaten by her spouse. A long list of members advised him to call Turning Point. I reached out to him and gave him my number for his friend to call me. Why you might ask? Simple, I felt I needed to help this woman in any way that I could. I find out that she is alone. She reached out to me and is where I was two years ago. Unless you go through something like this, you will never understand the thoughts and feelings that we go through. You can be there as a support system, but you will never truly understand. I met her today at the courthouse. Thankfully she had family friends with her today, whom I met. I saw myself in this woman. The fear, the deep gutteral cries, shakes, helplessness, confusion, sadness, nausea and the feeling of wanting to pass out. Then there is also a feeling of love. Yes, you heard me, love. You are probably asking yourself, how can you love someone that physically and mentally hurt you? You just do; especially if you have children together. It doesn't just disappear overnight. It is normal. So many questions run through your head. In court, the hate and lies from the abuser is to much to take. The abuser doesn't like to lose control over the victim. Plus, the abuser doesn't think they did anything wrong. Instant blame on the victim. Yes, ridiculous but true. This is an illness; a mental illness of the abuser.
As the moments, days, and weeks go by, you go through a whole bunch of emotion; the grieving process. No matter what you go through in life, let me assure you one thing, nobody and I mean nobody can tell another human being how to feel. That is something that is personal in each individual. That's what makes us human. People mean well in their own way. But in the future, just keep this in mind - try not to force your feelings or opinions on others. Allow yourself and others to feel. It's okay!
If you are an abuser reading this, please get help for yourself and end the cycle. Maybe you were abused as a child. I don't know. That is something to deal with. As a human being, are you happy with beating up a woman or man? If so, you need to examine why. You need help. End the cycle of violence. Please!
If you are a victim reading this, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are many organizations like Turning Point of the Lehigh Valley to help you. Whatever you do, DON'T GO BACK! You deserve to live a life of freedom. YOU are WORTH living YOUR life without harm! You can survive this! If you or someone you know is being abused, please get help! Remember this...the physical pain goes away but the psychological scars stay with you forever.
Showing posts with label Domestic Abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Domestic Abuse. Show all posts
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
It Will Be Okay..Step Out From the Shadows
It Will Be Okay...Step Out from the Shadows!
I have to say, the more I talk about domestic violence the more it seems to help. I really wasn't expecting that. It may seem that my blogs have become more about this lately and that's ok. It is domestic violence awareness month afterall. My hope is that by sharing my experience, it will save lives.
So what am I writing about today? Well, it stems from a phone call I got this morning from an acquaintance/friend of mine asking for help for one of his friends. He is out of state and she lives here in the Lehigh Valley. He felt helpless, until by fate, my face popped up on his Facebook page with a quote I had posted. He knows about my story and asked if he could contact me. At first I thought he had some nutrition questions. That wasn't the case. He called for my help and input regarding this friend of his who is in an emotionally abusive relationship. This so called man (her boyfriend) is very controlling and manipulative. He is quite older too. She is scared and feels alone. This "man" is using every trick in the book to scare her into staying. I hate that! This so called man obviously has low self esteem, no courage, and probably a small penis too. Yeah, I went there. I have no tolerance for men like this. I lived it for way to long myself. No, I don't hate men. Just those that think they are all that and then some. Those men that feel like women owe them. Those men that think it's ok to control another human being. Well guess what, slavery was abolished years ago! I gave my friend advice and welcomed her to contact me. I also advised my friend about Turning Point of the Lehigh Valley. Their mission is to work toward the elimination of domestic violence, increase community awareness of the problem, empower victims of domestic violence by providing shelter and support services. I am eternally grateful to them!
Ladies, if a man tells you that you will never find another man, that you aren't good enough, pretty enough, or any other ridiculous statement; then that man (or person) is not for you. You are worthy of so much more. You are worthy of being with someone that will treat you like a partner, who will lift you up in spirit and not knock you down every chance they get. Emotional abuse is just as bad if not worse than physical abuse. At least with physical abuse the scars go away, trust me, I know. It's the memories from emotional abuse that last a lifetime. Don't let another person tell you that you are alone and will have nobody there for you. That's pure bullshit! I don't care if you are straight, gay, rich or poor; abuse is abuse and should not be tolerated! I can say this confidently now. I was in the shadows for most of my life. You are not alone, there are people and organizations out there to help you and protect you. Save your life. You deserve to live your life safely and in true happiness. It's going to be ok! It's time..Step out of the shadows...
I have to say, the more I talk about domestic violence the more it seems to help. I really wasn't expecting that. It may seem that my blogs have become more about this lately and that's ok. It is domestic violence awareness month afterall. My hope is that by sharing my experience, it will save lives.
So what am I writing about today? Well, it stems from a phone call I got this morning from an acquaintance/friend of mine asking for help for one of his friends. He is out of state and she lives here in the Lehigh Valley. He felt helpless, until by fate, my face popped up on his Facebook page with a quote I had posted. He knows about my story and asked if he could contact me. At first I thought he had some nutrition questions. That wasn't the case. He called for my help and input regarding this friend of his who is in an emotionally abusive relationship. This so called man (her boyfriend) is very controlling and manipulative. He is quite older too. She is scared and feels alone. This "man" is using every trick in the book to scare her into staying. I hate that! This so called man obviously has low self esteem, no courage, and probably a small penis too. Yeah, I went there. I have no tolerance for men like this. I lived it for way to long myself. No, I don't hate men. Just those that think they are all that and then some. Those men that feel like women owe them. Those men that think it's ok to control another human being. Well guess what, slavery was abolished years ago! I gave my friend advice and welcomed her to contact me. I also advised my friend about Turning Point of the Lehigh Valley. Their mission is to work toward the elimination of domestic violence, increase community awareness of the problem, empower victims of domestic violence by providing shelter and support services. I am eternally grateful to them!
Ladies, if a man tells you that you will never find another man, that you aren't good enough, pretty enough, or any other ridiculous statement; then that man (or person) is not for you. You are worthy of so much more. You are worthy of being with someone that will treat you like a partner, who will lift you up in spirit and not knock you down every chance they get. Emotional abuse is just as bad if not worse than physical abuse. At least with physical abuse the scars go away, trust me, I know. It's the memories from emotional abuse that last a lifetime. Don't let another person tell you that you are alone and will have nobody there for you. That's pure bullshit! I don't care if you are straight, gay, rich or poor; abuse is abuse and should not be tolerated! I can say this confidently now. I was in the shadows for most of my life. You are not alone, there are people and organizations out there to help you and protect you. Save your life. You deserve to live your life safely and in true happiness. It's going to be ok! It's time..Step out of the shadows...
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