Domestic Violence is Very Real! You Can't Ignore it!

I've talked about Domestic Violence before. I am a victim of it myself. NO, I am a SURVIVOR of it! So, why am I talking about it today? A few reasons, you can never talk about it enough. This is not, nor should ever be a hush hush topic. This is a real epidemic in our country and all over the world. I am currently surviving my hell. I am grateful to my friends and family, the police and the courts for keeping me protected. I know now that I have nothing to feel ashamed about. I didn't cause my abuser's issues. That's all I will say about that. Why am I so outspoken about this? I am vocal about my experience in hopes that my story will save lives!

Recent events bring me to the following: I belong to several business groups. Last week a friend/member of one of the group's reached out to us. He had just found out that a family friend was beaten by her spouse. A long list of members advised him to call Turning Point. I reached out to him and gave him my number for his friend to call me. Why you might ask? Simple, I felt I needed to help this woman in any way that I could. I find out that she is alone. She reached out to me and is where I was two years ago. Unless you go through something like this, you will never understand the thoughts and feelings that we go through. You can be there as a support system, but you will never truly understand. I met her today at the courthouse. Thankfully she had family friends with her today, whom I met. I saw myself in this woman. The fear, the deep gutteral cries, shakes, helplessness, confusion, sadness, nausea and the feeling of wanting to pass out. Then there is also a feeling of love. Yes, you heard me, love. You are probably asking yourself, how can you love someone that physically and mentally hurt you? You just do; especially if you have children together. It doesn't just disappear overnight. It is normal. So many questions run through your head. In court, the hate and lies from the abuser is to much to take. The abuser doesn't like to lose control over the victim. Plus, the abuser doesn't think they did anything wrong. Instant blame on the victim. Yes, ridiculous but true. This is an illness; a mental illness of the abuser.

As the moments, days, and weeks go by, you go through a whole bunch of emotion; the grieving process. No matter what you go through in life, let me assure you one thing, nobody and I mean nobody can tell another human being how to feel. That is something that is personal in each individual. That's what makes us human. People mean well in their own way. But in the future, just keep this in mind - try not to force your feelings or opinions on others. Allow yourself and others to feel. It's okay!

If you are an abuser reading this, please get help for yourself and end the cycle. Maybe you were abused as a child. I don't know. That is something to deal with. As a human being, are you happy with beating up a woman or man? If so, you need to examine why. You need help. End the cycle of violence. Please!

If you are a victim reading this, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are many organizations like Turning Point of the Lehigh Valley to help you. Whatever you do, DON'T GO BACK! You deserve to live a life of freedom. YOU are WORTH living YOUR life without harm! You can survive this! If you or someone you know is being abused, please get help! Remember this...the physical pain goes away but the psychological scars stay with you forever.

Yes, You Can Have a Happy Healthy Holiday Season!

Tis the Season! Yep, they're here; the holidays! You know what that means?; parties and celebrations galore. How do you survive? How do you NOT gain weight? Try doing the following:

1. Exercise! Yes, get up and get moving! Go for a walk or run, go to the gym, use the home gym you put in years ago, or dance! Whatever you do, have fun and move! Like Nike says "Just Do It!"

2. Have parties to go to? Bring your own healthy dishes. Of course, call the host/hostess and offer to bring something. That way you know what you prepared and feel good about eating it.

3. Make sure you eat healthy most of the time so that you can enjoy the "fun stuff" on occassion. You should be eating healthy food every 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 hours anyway.

4. It's ok to say no! Meaning, if you are offered certain unhealthy foods, you can decline. You can also decline an invitation if you so choose. Don't feel pressured to do everything and be everything to everybody!

5. Before you head out to a party or get together, eat an apple or banana with peanut butter. It will satisfy your stomach. You won't arrive starving and eat the whole buffet table!!!

6. Between each alcoholic beverage, drink a glass of water. It's healthier and you won't get drunk as fast!

7. Snack on fruits and vegetables if they are an option at the gathering.

8. Don't stand near the food. It's to tempting! Engage yourself in conversation.

9. Drink Water! Keep hydrated!

10. Finally, HAVE FUN!!! Enjoy yourself and the people you are with! Let yourself be free!

Love Letter to My Lil Town of Emmaus! Shop and Eat Here...You Will Fall in Love Too!

I live in a small town called Emmaus. It's right outside of Allentown, PA. You might have driven through but did you stop and look around, shop and eat? Today is Small Business Saturday. I supported my Emmaus.. I went to Cottage Emmaus and got my hugs and candles from my friend/owner, Emma; Emmaus Bakery where Gavin got his cupcake, Sweet Memories Emmaus PA for some strawberry lemonade, Baked for a pumpkin cheesecake bar, and lastly Creamery on Main for some dirty chai..kitchen is getting prepared for burgers soon, missed friend/owner Bill by an hour but ran into my beautiful friend Denise and her beautiful daughter Alex getting some ice cream! Beautiful day in my small town of Emmaus! We welcome you to Shop Local Shop Emmaus!!! There are so many wonderful stores and restaurants here that I didn't get to today, but shop and eat at often! You bet I will continue blogging about them and my experiences. For me, it's about community, relationships and friendships built.

Wellness isn't just about eating well and exercise. It's also about having a sense of self, community, and building lasting friendships and relationships. When you get stressed, of course I encourage you to exercise. It helps to reduce stress. But also turn to family and friends to help you through whatever it is you are going through. What does that have to do with Small Business Saturday? Simple, I am also a small business. I can't do it alone. I cultivated and continue to grow my friendships with my friends/fellow business owners. They lift me up when I feel low as I lift and support them too. They all mean something to me and have a piece of my heart. So, I encourage you to go and support your local businesses where ever you are. Small business is the backbone of our communities! If you are in the Lehigh Valley or just driving through, stop in the shops and restaurants in Emmaus and say hello to my friends. You will be greeted with a warm smile and you will leave with a piece of them in your heart too!