October is domestic violence awareness month. In the Lehigh Valley we have Turning Point. There are all sorts of activites going on. October 1st was the Step Out Against Domestic Violence 5k Walk/Run. My kids and I volunteered and walked. Tonight was the annual candlelight vigil. If you have never gone to one, make it a point to next year. You will never look at domestic violence the same ever again.
A few days ago, Turning Point asked me to speak on behalf of the survivors. I hesitated because even though I'm pretty open about my being a victim, I thought to myself, am I ready to go public? The answer was yes. If I only help one person then that's what matters. I pre-wrote some of my story knowing that if I didn't write something up ahead of time I wouldn't have control and would keep rambling. I am still living my hell everyday even though my spouse is out of the house. I live in fear everyday.
I didn't know what to expect tonight. Of course I knew there would be sadness. But the energy in the room was of love and concern. It was a moving tribute to those dead and alive. After opening words, dance tributes, songs and stories shared, it was my turn to speak. I kept running it over and over in my head on how to begin. I didn't want to just read off of a piece of paper. I thanked everyone for coming, I looked at the students and said "Listen to your gut, your instincts, because I didn't." Then I proceeded to read what I wrote. Within the first sentence I became overwhelmed. The tears started flowing. I couldn't see the paper through those tears. I didn't know if I could go on but I did. I had to. I had to on behalf of those that died, the other current survivors and for the victims that didn't find their voice yet. I told my story through lots of tears, I barely made it through. But I did! I told my story live tonight for the first time and I would do it again. I live in fear but I have my freedom. The cycle ends with me. I don't want my kids living the life I led in abuse. The love I received from alot of people after the vigil surprised me. Each person said how brave I am. Funny, I don't feel brave. Sometimes I can barely breathe. Tomorrow, I will wake up and put one foot in front of the other.
Please, if you or someone you know is in danger due to domestic violence, there is help out there. If you are in the Lehigh Valley, PA, Turning Point will help you. If you aren't in the Lehigh Valley, there are organizations everywhere that you can contact.
Congratulations on speaking out to help others to speak up for themselves. Congratulations on getting safe, & may you stay that way. You are brave. Brave for standing up to the violent husband, brave for reaching out to others for help, and brave for helping others. Not many women are able to do any of that. I am glad you made it, and I hope to meet you someday. I admire & appreciate you Lisa Drew. You wonderfully brave, & selfless woman.
ReplyDeleteDear Lisa,
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this deeply poignant article. I found it very moving.
Have you heard this saying? "Courage isn't the absence of fear -- it's taking action in spite of your fear." What you did tonight was truly brave, because you overcame obstacles to do something you believe in deeply.
Sometimes, just waking up and putting one foot in front of the other is an act of courage worthy of a medal! Others may not see the medals, but you know they're there, and you know you've earned every single one.
Fred